It’s a lonely night.
I’m lucky enough to have someone I can reach out to in these instances, but that doesn’t mean that it’s easy to do.
I still have trouble stripping back all the layers and being completely vulnerable.
Without any of us realizing it, my parents raised me to keep the ugly feelings inside. Me being of the generation I am, that doesn’t feel natural. I feel like I should be able to be me, ugly or pretty, all the time. But I have to unlearn the bad habits and retrain myself. And I desperately want to.
But it’s hard.
It’s really hard to grow up.
I have these flashes of clarity and confidence, but that’s all they are. They disappear as quickly as they appear and leave me feeling hopeless.
I know I’ll find my path one day, but the wait is excruciating.