I wrote this last night as I was lying in bed. I was determined to not touch my phone once I crawled into bed. But as I lay there with my eyes closed, I felt content. I haven’t felt that level of contentment in a long time, so I knew I had to write about it.
I really do feel like I’ve been learning a lot about myself this year. I mean, I better be; I said this has to be the Year of Carrie.
On paper it may not look like much has changed, but I’m starting to feel different inside. I’m starting to discover new parts of myself and learning how to label and deal with some older parts.
I think a lot of that has to do with shifting my focus from kids to me. At the end of last year I made the decision to stop dedicating entire posts to my niece, who basically was my 2016. That started the domino effect. I found a perfect outlet for all of my excitement surrounding the kids and all of a sudden it started feeling okay to put myself first.
I started paying attention to the things I swept under the rug for years. I did research and came to a better understanding of why I am the way I am. I started to notice how individual things make me feel–physically and emotionally. I started listening to my body and doing things that felt good and–this was big for me–stopped doing things that didn’t. I started making conscious decisions about my relationships with family and friends. Everything seems to have become more deliberate.
But I feel so much more free.
I cannot believe we’re almost at the halfway point of 2017. What more can I possibly learn about myself?!
I can’t wait to see what else 2017 will teach me!