Let’s Get Real

“This almost seems dumb to me now. I don’t have anything to prove to myself or anyone else anymore and I’ve realized that that was a big part of journaling for me in the past–proving myself. I am completely comfortable and happy with where I’m at right now. I have a job that I love, a niece I adore, passions to pursue, confidence in my style, and support from friends and family. Yes, there are things I’m yearning for, but I AM HAPPY. I’m content. I love where I’m at.”

This is the exact opposite of what I’m feeling right now, which is exactly why I felt the need to post it.

I wrote this in February. I can’t bring myself to post anything after it. It seems like a perfect ending.

I’m always comforted when I read about other people’s struggles. It validates my feelings and brings everything down to the most basic human level. So, here it is. Here’s my truth:

Today sucked.

I definitely do have amazing friend, daughter, sister, auntie, nanny days. But that by no means means that they are all amazing.

Today happened to be one of those less than amazing days. Specifically, a less than amazing daughter day.

I feel defeated. Emotionally and Physically.

Life isn’t always worth bragging about, but that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be talked about.

I’m trying to find some inspiration in this. Anything to pull me out of this slump.

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Read a Book With Silly Rhymes

We only had one day with the babe last week, but it was a good one!

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After her nap, she was in a reading mood. She brought her three new favorite books over to grandpa, got her sippy and her puffs, and climbed up on the couch next to him.

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I have never seen her so patient. Usually she’ll bring you a book, sit in your lap, let you read three pages and then she’ll leave to find the next one.

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She actually let grandpa read the whole book each time.

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“MORE!”
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“Seriously, grandpa. Read it again!”

She even asked for more Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. She loves the “OH, NO!”

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She’s starting to warm up to The Tickle Monster. It’s still not a book that she’ll completely sit through, but there are times when it’s the best thing ever. This was somewhere in the middle.

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“Llama needs his fuzzy near…”
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“But, FUZZY LLAMA ISN’T HERE!” (To which she usually responds “Oh, no!”)

She also loves her Llama Llama books. She hadn’t seemed very interested in this book, so I was (pleasantly) surprised when she handed it to grandpa! She really likes to read Llama Llama Nighty Night before she goes to sleep (“…read a book with silly rhymes…”).

And how can I not share these adorable pictures (even if they’re unrelated)? She loves her rainboots! She wanted to wear them pretty much all day!

Ugh, she’s such a little sweetheart! And I get to have another sleepover with her this week! Yay!

Happy Monday, everyone!

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Stop Growing!

Being an only child and the youngest cousin, I often looked to friends’ families for my baby-time. One of my best friends from grade school got a little sister while we were still in the prime of our Barbie phase.

I remember getting the call from my friend when her sister was born asking which of the two names they were going between I would prefer. I remember meeting her the day she came home from the hospital. I remember playing with her in the car on the way home from school. I remember holding and snuggling her every chance I got. I remember babysitting her throughout the years.

She’s 12 now.

I feel so old.

She didn’t have school on Friday, so she texted me asking if she could come over and play with Juliana.

It was so surreal to see the baby I snuggled at that age playing with my niece (which was also hard to imagine 12 years ago)!

Juliana loved having a new friend to play with! She wanted to go outside and show off her swings and her climbing abilities and her llamas. She wanted to show off all of her toys, favorite hiding spots, multitude of books (short attention span when asked if she wanted to read one of the books), and her most recent charm: saying “Oh no!”

We were all a little sad when JuJu’s new best friend had to go home, but it was time for a nap!

After the nap, grandma let her play in the water and, surprise surprise, her clothes got a little wet. We changed her shirt and tried to put pants on her, but she did NOT want them. And when we were sorting her clothes, we came across some flip flops from last summer and she wanted to wear those for the rest of the day!

She’s such a silly girl!

This is the outfit she greeted her second new best friend in! A friend that I hadn’t seen in a while came by later in the day and Juliana greeted her at the door and pretty much walked right into her arms. I was very pleasantly surprised with that greeting–she usually clings and gets really shy when she’s meeting someone new.

It was a perfect–perfect–day! Both of my “babies” did some major growing up. Now they can stop!

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April

Oh my gosh, can you believe it’s already April?! That means it’s been almost a whole year since I graduated from college! That’s completely bonkers. It feels like it was yesterday. And it seems like Juliana was just a little baby like a week ago.

One little thing: I hate April Fool’s Day. I think it’s dumb. I’ve tried one April Fool’s joke in my life and it failed miserably. (My dad has every radio in the house set to the same station, so when we were about 10 my cousin and I changed every radio to a different station. He was furious.)

Now onto the main purpose of this post:

The calendar.

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This was obviously pretty close to a year ago–my dad was working on taxes. Juliana couldn’t do much by herself back then so she kind of went from lap to lap. When she landed in grandpa’s lap that day, she didn’t want to leave…for about three minutes (which is an eternity in baby time!). She liked pushing the buttons on the calculator and making the papers fall on the floor (which made grandpa so happy!).

This is another one of those pictures that is almost hard to look at because it makes me so emotional. She was so itty bitty! I remember buying her that outfit while we were in Hawaii that year and thinking it looked so big!

And my dad had just had a treatment done on his face and this was the first time he completely shaved off his beard in almost 25 years! It made us laugh every time we looked at him! I had never seen him without a beard!

And there was snow. Thank God there isn’t snow today! It was a little chilly this morning, but it’s already starting to brighten and warm up! I love this El Niño weather!

I promise to have another post up sometime this weekend or Monday at the latest. I had such a perfect, but weird, morning today. I’ll explain why.

I hope some you were more daring than I with your April Fool’s jokes!

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